I’m Skipping My New Years Resolution
I used to be the person who would make it known that my new years resolution was (insert outrageous goal). Whether it was to dedicate more time to something, transform my body or obtain healthier relationships, there always seemed to be a goal to accomplish. And let's get something straight, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
However, there are a few important reasons of why I've decided to skip this year's New Years resolution tradition. It's taken me awhile to figure this out, but I've trimmed it down to three essential reasons. My hope is that my shortcomings may help you during the upcoming new year.
Here we go!
1. My resolutions were never really mine
I think its easy to get confused about what motivates us to accomplish goals to begin with. For example, take a person who wants to lose weight. First off, that's a great goal if losing weight meant you'll be healthier and promote confidence. Too often I hear that others wish to lose weight to look like someone else, or to impress someone else. I know this process all to well.
So, there were some tough questions I had to ask in order to understand what motivated me: "Am I wanting to lose weight for the 'likes' online? Am I searching for approval? Am I doing this for health purposes? Is this goal really for me, or is it for someone else?" I quickly found that my goals were never for myself but were for someone else.
If my shortcoming resonates with you, I encourage you to ask yourself questions like these to understand if your goals are really for yourself. My hope is that you'll be able to work toward goals that you truly value because that's extremely important in human development.
2. My resolutions were never really SMART
I started to notice my goals were so all over the place that it was beginning to affect my mental health. I felt that I had to live up to some sort of standard with this New Years Resolution stuff and I always seemed to come up short in the end. That if I didn't complete my goal that I was going to disappoint others, and myself. This produced such high levels of anxiety.
Honestly, without this a smarter system put into place, I really don't know how I completed my goals in the first place. Most of us have heart of SMART goals before. If not, then don't fret. I've created a quick infographic for you to help you grasp the basics of this awesome model.
My resolutions were never really SMART to begin with according to this model. In fact, they were the complete opposite. So please, learn from my mistakes and begin to write down ideal goals you wish to obtain. Grab an empty journal and write out a short term plan using this acronym. Or better, create your own acronym, a pen and a pad, and get started.
3. My resolutions didn't have to wait
I completely understand the feeling of not liking (insert negative aspect about self) and that starting a new year fresh seems like a good idea. Whether that meant working to achieve a new body, a new job, or a new anything. The mindset is definitely right, and I applaud you for it. However, I am going to encourage you to take this same mindset and apply it to today, and tomorrow, and yes, even the next day.
I'm wondering if better question to ask is "Why does my goal need to wait" Or, "Why do I even need a New Year to begin to establish a resolution to a problem I have right now?" "What's wrong with starting now?" The answer: nothing at all.
"A great day to start is today."
This process did take some time, but once I figured out what I valued, what was doable and what was available in the present moment, things became easier. Not to mention the fact that I had a smaller group of high quality people to hold me accountable. More importantly, I held myself accountable.
Try this for a resolution
My encouragement to you: find a human or two who you can put enough trust into to hold you accountable with your new goal. Chase a goal that aligns with what you value and make sure it's a goal for you. Take it one step at a time make it SMART and get a journal. See if its doable and something you can begin right now in the present moment.
Don't wait till January 1st of each year to start something anew. Begin today, because that's a great day to start.